Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
