so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
