just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
