yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
