Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
