can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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