chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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