i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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