Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
