Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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