so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
