at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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