Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
