I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
