Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
