Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
