how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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