Me. At least after what I've been through.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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