One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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