I wannas sexs uuuuu
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
