I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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