i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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