mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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