Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize