when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Dignity is for republicans.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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