I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
