end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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