I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
