Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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