I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
