i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
soo... how was my night?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize