Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
