So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
