I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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