Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just pynch a tree in the face
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
