Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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