I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
