So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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