Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
