Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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