what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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