I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
