I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
