I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
