i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
