I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
