Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
