fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So squirting runs in the family.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
