Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
