wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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