I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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