I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I faked an abortion last night.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
