Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
bring money and cleavage
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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