if i can run in heels then i can drive
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
