she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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