TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
