he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
How naked do you want me to be?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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