walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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