David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
