i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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