I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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