physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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